Twenty one hours and thirty five minutes to August

And you said to me to go fuck myself, that I am a nobody, a lie, a shame...you told me to forget you. I thought you were God right in that moment. I thought you were right, I thought I was shit. You told me to forget you. Few years back I would say the happiest day of my life was in Rock in Rio listening to some damn good bands but fuck...that all has changed. I can't fucking erase it. Yeah sure, I'm just one more stupid that got his ass kicked. You are still beautiful as always and I still have a fucking tear in the eye. Me stupid? Right. Do I have a lack of decency, pride and everything else? Fuck yeah. Do I feel miserable? Sometimes...but hey...who doesn't? But why do I feel that way? Because I fucked up, I really fucked up big time...and no...can't go back now...can I please stop feeling guilty? ALL THE FUCKING YEARS I'VE LIVED AND BAM! July always pretty much ends feeling the same way. So I gotta get some sleep now. Maybe someday I will learn my lesson and the feeling could be a good reality. SOGB IHM IRD